I’ve rewritten this post a thousand times over, trying to figure out what’s worth mentioning… I’ve been feeling sick lately. Tired a lot, had a fever a few days ago. I’m feeling a little better. It’s hard for me to sleep at night. I should be writing in those crazy hours, but instead my mind’s just kind of floundering. I spent 4 hours last night trying to perfect a little gift for someone, but you would absolutely never be able to tell I spent time a lot of time on it at all. It was mostly thinking, planning… This is what I get for having poor scratchy handwriting, and I’m really bad at that spacial perception stuff, like trying to fit things into empty spaces… like words on a page. And I can never get a poster to look straight when I hang them on my walls. I need a girl for these sorts of things. I’m absolutely terrible at it. And I might just be, unquestionably, the worst perfectionist that ever lived.

I’m trying to decide if I should go see X-Files again with my sister and her boyfriend. I don’t know. I can’t decide. I have nothing good to do tonight. If I don’t go, I’ll probably just lock myself in my room and listen to music, maybe look at this gift every once in a while, or try to prepare myself for writing late tonight… if I go, I’ll spend money I don’t really have.

I’m in a strange state of mind. I don’t know what else to write.