for over a year, throughout these past 2 college semesters, my car has been covered with a tarp because the engine failed last summer. i’ve missed it, often looking outside at it thinking it was dead, and that cover was its coffin. finally i had enough money to buy an engine online for it though, and had it installed in late april / early may. i had it re-registered, and cleaned it off, and it was beautiful.

about a month ago, just two days after my 22nd birthday actually, i was in a car accident. it was my fault. i came around a forested corner at about 35 mph (the speed limit) but didn’t expect a huge line of traffic right there on the corner, just out of my sight and i didn’t stop in time and rear-ended someone. the damage was very minimal. because of the accident and everything else, i never actually got anything at all for my birthday. it’s alright. the cop that responded to the accident was a local trooper.  and a bad one. it took him about fifteen minutes to get there. he wasn’t an asshole necessarily, but he didn’t bother to take statements, write anything down or even file a police report. that made a pretty big mess after the accident when dealing with the dmv and insurance companies. he gave us the wrong paper to fill out each other’s information and have us deal with everything then happily sped off.

yesterday, i was driving on a main road just two turns from that road i had the accident on. i was driving on the main road again, about 35 mph, again, the speed limit, and there was traffic up ahead at a side road to my right. there was a car in the other lane stopped waiting to make his right turn onto the side road, as well as a long line of traffic stuck behind him. there was also a car on the side road, waiting to turn left onto the main road, going in the opposite direction as i was. out of everyone on the road however, i had the right of way. everyone else was turning through my lane. but in the seconds it took me to get up to the side road, (and it only would have taken me seconds more to pass by so everyone could get moving), the car that was on the side road, who wanted to make a left, decided to go for it. there was only a few feet between me and my car at this point. he came into my lane just inches from me slamming into his car, so i steered a hard left to try to get out of his car. our two cars hit anyway, and i saw a bumper flying through the air. i thought it was mine. it wasn’t. his car’s entire front end was blown apart basically, his bumpe and pieces of his car all over the road. my headlight and front end was damaged. i got into a second accident just a month later in the same area.

this time, i knew i wasn’t at fault. the driver was an old man who got out of his car and i asked why he did that. i was nervous, anxious, pretty angry… i called police & home. as i calmed down i told him he shouldn’t have done that and he was at fault. this time, a state trooper responded. a good one. it took him about 2 minutes to arrive. as i was about to talk to him, the old man accused me of swerving deliberately into his lane to hit him. i was pretty angry at this, but i tried to quietly interject. the cop looked at me instead, and asked if i swerved to try to avoid his car. and i said yes. thankfully, he understood the situation and didn’t even make me recount my side of the story before he told the man it was his fault for not yielding. the trooper filled out our paperwork for us this time, with all of our insurance and information. and that was it. i was amazed at what a difference a good cop can make at the scene. i thanked him and shook his hand. nevertheless, it was the second accident in a short span of time and space, not even a mile from where the last accident was. and it’s a place i have to drive through to get to work every day.

so today, i spent most of it on the phone with his insurance company for my claim. they asked for my statement, and about my injuries (my entire body was fairly bruised afterwards), and of course i’m hoping his insurance covers the cost to fix my car. the front end is damaged, the passenger side headlight is completely smashed apart, and the passenger door makes a really loud creak when it’s opened because the hood’s been crumpled into the door jam a little bit. did i mention there’s also a giant crater on the front in the passenger side? when i had the first accident, there were just some scratches really. this, however, can’t be ignored. all i really know is i don’t want to have to cover this car ever again. i just got it back, and i’ll be damned before i bury it again.

this most recent accident happened after a five hour day of work. i had only gotten two hours of sleep the night before. i went to bed at around 2 am, but woke up suddenly at 3:40. it was a bad dream that woke me up, and i had a bad feeling for some reason. i was tired in the morning, and so i drove slow and cautiously to work. but afterwards, after work, i felt fine and alert. at the end of my shift, i almost stopped to buy a pair of those little notebooks i’ve mentioned before… i almost stopped to buy them. and i wonder if i had, would that delay have caused me to miss that same accident i was just in? and the bad dream and the lack of sleep… maybe somehow, even though i felt fine after work and was alert on my drive home, perhaps it somehow caused me to get into the accident as well?

what i do know is what the trooper said at the second accident after learning about the other accident a month ago. “it hasn’t exactly been your summer, has it?”

no, no it hasn’t.

what i’m listening to: santigold